Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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