i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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