No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
