mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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