How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
