in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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