You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
