Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
