dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
