I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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