all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
