Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
