I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
