She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
