Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
