you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
