I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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