i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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