yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
