I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
