I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
