He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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