I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize