ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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