WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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