u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
