i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
