: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
