the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
