Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
