wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
