I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
