That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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