How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Randomize