He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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