Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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