The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I love you. Go after that dick
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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