Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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