i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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