If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize