I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
