Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
PANTIES FOUND
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