You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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