youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
