My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
