you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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