ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize