I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
wow bdsm is so cute
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