That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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