My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
