on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
