I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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