It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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