You're completely useless in the revolution.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
