Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
