yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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