Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
